Sluts.

One of the most common and rudimentary questions a developing feminist will often ask, is why society gives a big thumbs up in regards to men to having casual sex, while presenting a totally different attitude towards women doing the same thing. People will call this dude awesome, while immediately jumping on the opportunity to cry "slut! slut!" at the woman. And, I mean, it's not even exclusively in circumstances of promiscuity, it's also when a female is apparently too quick to fuck her boyfriend.

I think I'm beginning to understand how we're conditioned to think this way.

It's derived from the culture of women being expected to fulfill a role as the "looked at", so the men can be the "lookers". It is actually scary how much this is normalized in modern society. Women are illustrated as spineless, passive beauties in the media, compliant dolls who love and thrive on derogatory male attention.

Paris Hilton once described herself as "sexy, but not sexual". I believe this is an accurate description of the way women are fabricated in our collective false consciousness. Yes, we must give the illusion of being sexually available and willing, but never actually be sexually available and willing. What we have under our clothes, then, is something mysterious and exciting. We're exotic and intriguing. Enough so that men believe we have a wonderful gift to please them with, and that we exist solely to be pleasure-givers.

We do not experience sexual pleasure ourselves, though. We perform for the male, rather than have sex with him. And so the world forgets that women desire sexual gratification as well. This is why women are called sluts. Society does not think of "slutty" women as having received pleasure too easily, but as having given it over too easily. Because, women are sexy but not sexual. Society sees the idea that women might want to experience their own sexual pleasure as ridiculous.

How I feel is this. Women who have sex casually or whatever for their own gratification, and to connect sexually with another human being (or beings, if that's your thing) are not sluts. They're enjoying it, and they're living. That's cool. However, I am sure there are women who actively seek to comply with the "submissive, sexy female" ideal. Those who really impair feminism. If they go about with the sole intention of pleasing the man visually and sexually only, and dismissing their own desires in favour of being a giggling pleasurer, then maybe they are sluts.

And, I think, for society to be able to move forward, there needs to be a huge change in how it approaches both female and human sexuality. The main thing is that the image of women in the media needs to experience a 180. Make us assertive, imperfect, and horny. Make us ache to be gratified. And no, I don't mean being gratified by having some gross, muscular, monotonal douchebag jerk off on her face. Maybe then, we won't be sluts, but we'll be awesome pimps when we fuck guys too.

Hopefully one day the word "slut" will only be used in reference to those who cheat on their partners, or maintain two simultaneous, allegedly monogamous relatonships.