I mean, at least if I got that, I'd use it for inspirational, intellectually stimulating blogs. Like, say, Tattoo Face Gets Her Come-Uppance. I feel safe to assume anyone reading this has indeed witnessed the progression of the tale, which can basically be summed up as so:
Tattoo Face: 3 stars on mah face plz
Tattoo Artist: k
TF: actualy 56 stars plz
TA: k
TF's Father: OMG WTFFFF!1!!
TF: lol woops, i fell sleep nd shit
TA: lol wut no u didnt
Tattoo Artist: k
TF: actualy 56 stars plz
TA: k
TF's Father: OMG WTFFFF!1!!
TF: lol woops, i fell sleep nd shit
TA: lol wut no u didnt
Indeed, it spilled out into drawn-out, sorry affair, with the denoument being Kimberley "Starface McGee" Vlaeminck admitting to having lied upon seeing her furious father and henceforth figuratively shitting her pants.
My thoughts on the matter? The silly girl nearly ruined the reputation of who I'm sure is a very dedicated, professional tattoo artist (and went on, as part of her facade, to demand thousands of dollars for laser removal surgery), because she was too chickenshit to admit she made a mistake. Are her 56 facial badges of shame enough punishment? Fuck off.
This is where The Sims 3 comes into play. I have viewed the transcription of many sick, sadistic Sims experiments on the net, from psycho clowns with babies, to homeless children who have never experienced human love. Yet I have never seen a household created with the sole intent to punish and shame gratituously, rather than to satisfy our Godly curiousities.
And so is birthed Kimberley Vlaeminck, a teenage sim, with a natural, knowingly sad facial expression. Perhaps she knows it is time to receive punishment for her fuck-ups, or perhaps she's just sad that I discovered a way to adorn half her face with permanent, black stars. That's right, even in a digital world of endless visual and cosmetic possibilities, you cannot escape your choice, bitch.
Why is she bald, I hear you ask. Well, I figured if I shaved her head, there is no way she can even attempt to partially conceal her freakish disfigurement. Lying cowards do not deserve hair. In fact, I made "coward" one of her personality traits, among others I selected to reflect what we know of her. She is "childish", for instance, and "absent-minded". To spite her, and rub in her poorly thought out lie, I also made her a "heavy sleeper".
You'd think her physical appearance and horrid personality would be punishment enough for the remainder of her life, but no. Upon discovering that teenagers cannot exist on their own within a household, I realized she needed adult supervision (presumably incase, say, she got a sideways vulva tattooed on her face with her mouth as the hole).
The clear adult figure consistently referenced in articles I've read would be her father. Unfortunately, I could not find a photograph of him to reference from! All I know is that he likes icecream, and he doesn't like obtrusive facial tattoos. This is not much to work from, and I found myself forced to get a little creative. From what I know about middle Europe, if there's a hostile father prototype to be had, it would be this guy:
And so became sim Josef Fritzl Vlaeminck, an elderly gentleman who is "evil", "inappropriate", "insane", and "". But hey ladies, he's also "family-orientated"! His favourite food is sushi and he likes indie music. He actually sounds a bit like me!
And so, with Josef Fritzl standing in his little old man cardigan, I decided to modify Kimberley's attire. Previously, I was thinking that being cursed with everything aforementioned, plus having to live in her father's dingy basement as he lives comfortably upstairs would be enough. I then visualised the poor, sullen face of the tattoo artist who she heartlessly attempted to destroy emotionally and financially. No, this would not be enough. It was time to purchase a double bed.
Coming soon: Tattoo Face Gets Her Come-Uppance, Part 2: House of Doom.
My thoughts on the matter? The silly girl nearly ruined the reputation of who I'm sure is a very dedicated, professional tattoo artist (and went on, as part of her facade, to demand thousands of dollars for laser removal surgery), because she was too chickenshit to admit she made a mistake. Are her 56 facial badges of shame enough punishment? Fuck off.
This is where The Sims 3 comes into play. I have viewed the transcription of many sick, sadistic Sims experiments on the net, from psycho clowns with babies, to homeless children who have never experienced human love. Yet I have never seen a household created with the sole intent to punish and shame gratituously, rather than to satisfy our Godly curiousities.
And so is birthed Kimberley Vlaeminck, a teenage sim, with a natural, knowingly sad facial expression. Perhaps she knows it is time to receive punishment for her fuck-ups, or perhaps she's just sad that I discovered a way to adorn half her face with permanent, black stars. That's right, even in a digital world of endless visual and cosmetic possibilities, you cannot escape your choice, bitch.
Why is she bald, I hear you ask. Well, I figured if I shaved her head, there is no way she can even attempt to partially conceal her freakish disfigurement. Lying cowards do not deserve hair. In fact, I made "coward" one of her personality traits, among others I selected to reflect what we know of her. She is "childish", for instance, and "absent-minded". To spite her, and rub in her poorly thought out lie, I also made her a "heavy sleeper".
You'd think her physical appearance and horrid personality would be punishment enough for the remainder of her life, but no. Upon discovering that teenagers cannot exist on their own within a household, I realized she needed adult supervision (presumably incase, say, she got a sideways vulva tattooed on her face with her mouth as the hole).
The clear adult figure consistently referenced in articles I've read would be her father. Unfortunately, I could not find a photograph of him to reference from! All I know is that he likes icecream, and he doesn't like obtrusive facial tattoos. This is not much to work from, and I found myself forced to get a little creative. From what I know about middle Europe, if there's a hostile father prototype to be had, it would be this guy:
And so became sim Josef Fritzl Vlaeminck, an elderly gentleman who is "evil", "inappropriate", "insane", and "". But hey ladies, he's also "family-orientated"! His favourite food is sushi and he likes indie music. He actually sounds a bit like me!
And so, with Josef Fritzl standing in his little old man cardigan, I decided to modify Kimberley's attire. Previously, I was thinking that being cursed with everything aforementioned, plus having to live in her father's dingy basement as he lives comfortably upstairs would be enough. I then visualised the poor, sullen face of the tattoo artist who she heartlessly attempted to destroy emotionally and financially. No, this would not be enough. It was time to purchase a double bed.
Coming soon: Tattoo Face Gets Her Come-Uppance, Part 2: House of Doom.
I think her new epithet is very suitable, not to mention original.
ReplyDeleteJames, is that you? :P
ReplyDelete